SLAMpeg 2616: Lacey vs Crazy Mary Dobson

Two of our loudest and most verbose athletes meet in the ring and, predictably, the viciousness on display extends to the words uttered as well as the moves executed.

Turns out that Mary doesn’t like anything about Lacey, not her top, not her knee pads, not her face. She doesn’t even like that Lacey likes her skirt but, by gosh, Lacey’s going to fight for her right to admire Mary’s clothing. What follows is a spectacular beatdown that begins with Mary getting the better of Lacey with monster kicks, cruel chokes, an abdominal claw and a Camel Clutch, and graduates to even greater heights of sadism.

There’s no referee to stop Mary as she tosses Lacey out of the ring and proceeds to attack her midsection with a plunger and to use a trashcan to rearrange her face and spinal column. But just when it looks like Lacey may have lost all hope of recovery, she manages to come at Mary with some foreign objects of her own, followed by her own onslaught of Camel Clutches, chokes and hairpulling.

The two ladies are matched in size, vocal volume and sheer cruelty so the final result of the contest is a tossup to the end.