SLAMpeg 4726: Miss Rachel vs Zoe Lucas

Zoe is seated outside the ring, scrolling through her smartphone, when Miss Rachel approaches and lectures her on her lack of respect. Zoe seems too involved with her phone to pay too much attention, but when Miss Rachel delivers a chop to the head, then slams Zoe face first into the ring apron and the wall, she has her full attention.

Less of a wrestling match than it is—as Miss Rachel puts it—“a time-honored tradition in British wrestling of respect for your elders,” Miss Rachel proceeds to put Zoe through the ringer by wrapping her in a Texas Cloverleaf, legscissors, Surfboard, and a Chinlock while seated on Zoe’s back.

Miss Rachel begins wrenching Zoe’s thumbs so she’ll have difficulty the next time she tries texting on her phone, then bites at Zoe’s fingers. Miss Rachel applies a one-legged Boston Crab and a seated Dragon Sleeper, and when Zoe reaches the ropes, Miss Rachel casually reminds her that there is no referee around to stop her lesson.

In the end, however, it’s Zoe who teaches Miss Rachel an important lesson, not to let down your guard, as she manages to sneak out a 3 count and a victory. But after the bell, Miss Rachel ends the lesson in perhaps the most British way possible, by clubbing Zoe over the head with a teakettle.